Drum Roll, Please....

I know you have all been on the edge of your seats waiting for the results of the DNA test we sent out on Shelby. Well, your wait is finally over. The results are in: Shelby is mostly German Shepherd. There are traces of a few other breeds, but German Shepherd is the dominant breed. So, based on these results, I can feel comfortable recommending The Wisdom Panel MX to my clients. That also means that the Canine Heritage Breed Test, that I sent out last year, was a waste of money. Beagle and Husky were not even present in trace amounts. Now that we know her true heritage, we will now be signing her up as either a Seeing Eye Dog or a K9 Drug Dog. We haven't decided yet.

It was a fun weekend. Nancy was driving to Arlington to visit her college roommate, so I decided to go to Corpus Christi and visit Scott. I even took Saturday off. Jeff drove down Friday night and we got to Corpus around midnight. We got up bright and early to hit the bay for some fishing in Scott's new boat. The only problem was the 45 degree temperature coupled with a North wind at 30 Knots. Miserable doesn't begin to describe it. We actually put the boat in the water, despite the weather, and lasted about an hour. Once we were all soaked, freezing, and unable to get the anchor to hold long enough for us to even cast our lines, we decided to head back. We cooked out, watched some basketball, and hit up the local watering hole instead.

Nancy had fun, too. Although for some reason she decided to do step aerobics while in Arlington, and now she can barely walk.

We had our best month yet at the clinic. I hired another technician today, who I think is going to work out well. She showed up on time for her interview, and has all her teeth, no unusual body parts pierced, and speaks English, so hiring her was a no-brainer.

That's all the excitement I can stand to write about for now.

I'm a glutton for punishment

The new hire has worked out great so far. She does a good job, shows up on time, and has a good attitude.

But we are so busy (good problem to have these days), that I now need to hire another technician. So I am placing an ad and starting the whole hiring process over again. Pray for me.

Finding two coherent, non-mentally-challenged, reliable, sane employees in a two month period may be asking too much.

Check out the updated web site: www.lakesidevets.com

Stimulus?

Riiiiiiiight.



This reminds me of Star Wars Episode 2. Senator Palpatine (soon to become The Emperor) is speaking before the Galactic Senate. He goes on and on about how bad the times are, and how urgent action is needed (sound familiar?), and how the Senate must grant him Emergency Powers in order to save the Republic. He will humbly accept responsibility for getting them through these tough times, and then, of course, give back these special powers to the Senate when things are better. The Senate votes overwhelmingly to give him these special powers, and everyone begins cheering and clapping.



Padme then says bluntly, "So this is how democracy dies. With thunderous applause."


Deep, I know :)

Shelby the Beagle/ Husky Mix

About a year ago, I found a site online that professed to determine what breeds make up your mutt. The test was called the Canine Heritage Breed test. I paid $85 and received a kit in the mail. Sending a picture was optional, according to the site. No way was I sending a picture. That would make it far too easy for them to cheat. I took what looked to be a tiny bottle brush to the inside of Shelby's cheek, which she didn't take too kindly to. After a brief wrestling match, I had my cheek swab, and we promptly put it in the mail. Three to four weeks later, we recieved the results. Beagle and Husky.

Now I'm no veterinarian, but I always assumed that she was a German Shepherd mix, with a hint of West texas jackrabbit (the ear gene) and Oprah Winfrey (the appetite) thrown in. Now, the Husky I can see, but the only thing that even slightly resembles a Beagle is her insatiable lust for chasing squirrels. I was less than satisfied with the fruits of my hard-earned $85.

Fast forward to Monday of this week. One of the many drug reps who frequent my place of business in order to bribe me into buying their latest, greatest product shows me a brochure for the new Wisdom Panel MX. This is the new gold standard, he says, for determining what breeds make up a mixed breed dog. Now where have I heard that before? I told him that I had tried something similar last year, and was less than convinced it was anything more than a scam. He explained to me the differences and answered most of my questions to my satisfaction. this was a blood DNA test instead of a cheek swab. That supposedly results in 3x the amount of DNA being extracted from the sample, making the test 90% accurate instead of 30-40% like a cheek swab.

Still I wasn't convinced. Then he started speaking my language: this was a test sold through veterinarians. In other words, I can make some money off this deal. I know for a fact that many of my clients would be interested in shelling out $150 to me for a test that tells them what Sparky is made of, genetically speaking. And the test only costs me $75. For the non math majors out there, that's a 100% markup. Me likey.

However, being the ethical veterinarian that I am, I could not in good conscience recommend this test to my clients without being sure that it is legit. Luckily for the clients of Lakeside Animal Clinic, I happen to have the perfect mutt/ guinea pig. If this test can convince me that it knows what breeds my lovely sort-of-German Shepherd-looking-but-with-short-legs-and-huge-ears-dog is made of, then I can wholeheartedly recommend this test to my clients.

So last night, with my beautiful wife serving as the technician, I drew some blood from Miss Shelby's left front leg. Of course, that was after ten minutes of chasing her around the house, because she has been to work with me enough to know when I am about to poke or prod her. After the blood draw, you would have thought we had just sliced off her leg, as she gingerly walked on it and licked it for two hours.

Anyway, into the mail today went the blood. In 3-4 weeks, we will see if this test performs any better than the previous one. I guess if it comes back that she is a Beagle/Husky Mix, I owe the Canine Heritage Company an apology. And I will start training Shelby to be the sled-pulling squirrel hunter she was born to be.

I'll let you know what we find out.

The Fitz-lympics

It was a fun weekend. Scott came into town on Friday night and he, Nancy, and I went to dinner and our favorite sports bar. Derrick also came into town, but he stayed with his sister Friday night. Everyone met at our house on Saturday after I got home from work. By everyone, I mean Scott, Derrick, his girlfriend Tiffany, his sister Kara, her boyfriend Ryan, our neighbors Sarah and Brent, and their son John.

We broke in my new poker table, with the help of our neighbor Todd. I came out in the black in the inaugural poker game. A whole two bucks. Derrick and Scott were the big winners on the day, clearing about 40 bones each.

After the poker game, I grilled some venison sausage and burgers and Nancy made her signature sausage wontons. After dinner, we had planned to go out on the town, but everyone was so excited about our games (or old, lazy, and tired) that we decided to stay here and have a little Fitz-lympics. The Fitz-lympics involved separate tournament brackets for Air Hockey, Darts, 3-ball Pool, Blackjack and Foosball. It also involved everyone drinking copious amounts of beer and liquor...but that wasn't an "official" event. We actually drew names to pair people up and had actual brackets drawn up. Despite some early kinks, it actually worked out. There were 8 players in all. Nancy did not compete. Her actual job was referee, but she ended up just dealing blackjack. I should say she didn't officially compete, because she did take great pride in busting people out as the Blackjack dealer. Some of the participants might say a little too much pride.

Ryan was the overall winner, with two championships of the five. Brent eked out a win against me in our championship Air Hockey match (my best event). He went up big and held off a furious rally for the win 10-9. There will be a rematch (since he lives right next door).

It was a great time, and everyone seemed to have fun. It was a miracle no major damage was done to the house. Scott tracked in one of Shelby's land mines and Tiffany spilled a beer on the Blackjack table. Other than that, The Fitz survived. Shocking, I know, that with this bunch only one beer was spilled. I just knew someone would spill a beer on my poker table, despite my rad casino cup holders. Luckily, the poker was early enough in the day that everyone was still semi-coherent.

The major damage was to Nancy's (left, non-math problem working) hand. Shelby and Scott's dog Maya decided to have a squabble, and Nancy tried to intervene. Shelby caught a mouthful of flesh somehow. Shelby would never purposely bite anyone, especially her mama...but it was a pretty nasty bite. Nancy's hand is still pretty sore and swollen. Immediately after the bite, she asked me, as the resident veterinarian (and someone who has been bitten more times than I can count) what to do. My sage advice: Drink through it. I think she was hoping for a little more from me, frankly.

Everyone finally left about 1 am. Which is closer to Nancy's wake-up time than her bed time. But somehow she managed to hang. It was a lot of fun seeing my college buddies and having some immature fun. I may be married, with a house, have two degrees, and own my own business, but in reality I am still a 14 year old masquerading as a mature adult. My wife would say not masquerading very well at all.

Saturdays

I love everything about my job. Except the working on Saturdays part. I know it is only 4 hours, from 8 to noon...but you would be surprised how much shorter that makes the weekend seem. At my previous job, after I had worked there for about three years, we decided to close on Saturdays. None of the clients seemed to mind very much, and our revenue actually went up. I don't know if I will ever get up the nerve to try it at Lakeside. We are usually pretty busy on Saturdays. Maybe after I am a little more well-established. Or maybe I can get a part-timer or relief vet to work for me every other Saturday or something. The girls get one out of every three Saturdays off and either two half-days or one full day off during the week, and here I am working every day. My boss is such an ass.

Okay, enough whining.

The new hire is working out well so far. By working out so far I mean she actually showed up, was on time, and hasn't quit yet. Other than that, it is still too early to tell.

I haven't written much in this here blog lately because I have been either trying to learn Spanish or painting. Once I get on a painting kick, it usually lasts two or three weeks, and then I don't paint for a few months. This particular project has been the "over the fireplace" painting that Nancy made me do. I wasn't happy with the way the first one turned out, so I completely re-did it. maybe I will post a pic later.

I think we are going to hit up our favorite watering hole for the Super Bowl. I've got Arizona in an upset 21-17.

I paid our landscaper to do some Winter landscaping at the clinic, to try to spice up the joint a little. For your viewing pleasure (the last one is a Photoshop I did for the front page of our website, www.lakesidevets.com ):

Finally...A Keeper

After three weeks of trying, I finally found someone mentally stable enough to hire for my kennel position. She is a high school kid who seems smart and motivated. A lot of people seem smart and motivated. We'll see how I feel in a month.

I am just glad I can finally take my ad down, and I no longer have to sort out the seriously retarded from the only mildly retarded.