Jorge ' es gran

Nancy went for her second visit to the doctor today. I did not go because they were not doing an ultrasound, and were just going over blood work, checking her weight, etc. Of course, they did an ultrasound anyway, which I am kind of sad that I missed. Nancy did bring home a picture, but it was not a very good one. Despite the fact that I am trained and experienced in reading ultrasound images, I could barely even make out Jorge's head or other vital parts. Oh well, there's always next time. Jorge' is doing well, growing normally, and has a normal heartbeat...so all is well so far.

Speaking of Jorge', I think that Brooke and Tyler are going to be awfully confused after he/she is born. Before they go to bed at night, they say their prayers, and they pray for their entire family, including Aunt Nancy, Uncle Randy, and baby Jorge'. I am not sure how Brandl and Danielle are going to break the news to them that the baby's name is not actually Jorge'.

We had some excitement this weekend. At the last minute on Saturday, we decided to meet Jeff and his son Ethan in College Station for an Aggie basketball game. We got a room at the usual spot, the Ramada Inn for the night, since the game was not going to be over until almost 11 (2 hours past Nancy's bedtime). The game was fun, the Ags beat Tech, and we went to eat afterwards. And by midnight we were all asleep in our 4th floor room at the Ramada.

At about 3:00 am, we were awakened by an annoying sound. After a few seconds to figure out where I was, I realized it was the fire alarm. I got out of bed, opened the door and the hallway was filled with white smoke and a very fould odor. I shut the door and yelled at everyone that there was a fire and to get up. I was trying to figure out how I was going to kick out the window and get us out of the 4th floor. We quickly threw on a few clothes (since it was 30 degrees outside), grabbed a few belongings, and left the room. By now, there were a bunch of people in the hall running around, screaming fire, the whole nine yards. We got to the stairs, ran down them and got outside. It was all kind of a blur.

We went to Jeff's truck and tried to warm up and waited, for what I don't know. The fire department arrived and we watched them go into the building. After sitting there for a while, Jeff and I decided to go see what was up. It turns out some drunk kids came back to the hotel at 3 am and started spraying the fire extinguishers at each other in the hall, filling the entire hallway with a white cloud of "smoke". Someone, upon seeing the smoke, thought there was a fire and pulled the fire alarm.

The 4th floor was not inhabitable (the "smoke" burned your throat and smelled awful), so we got a new room on the first floor. By 4 am, we were back in bed (albeit doubles instead of queens). After all that, we really only lost an hour of sleep.

To update you on the Craigslist Casanova...I did reply to him with a very witty and hateful email, basically calling him a low-life and what-not. He replied to me that I was closed minded and again implored me to just ask Nancy if she might be interested. I assured him that she was not, and that was the last contact I had with him. Nancy would not let me post the emails here, so you are getting the clean, cliffs-notes version.

Nothing else exciting going on around here, so I'm out.

Indecent Proposal Update

I set up a fake email account.

Here is my reply:

From: Walter Cronkite
To: robs_tx@yahoo.com
Sent:
Wed, January 27, 2010 10:49:14 PM
Subject: Re: Couch For Sale - $20 (Katy)

Are you serious? I do need some help in that department. I can never get
away it seems.

He replied this morning:

fromRob Simon robs_tx@yahoo.comtoWalter Cronkite
waltc98@gmail.com
dateThu,
Jan
28, 2010 at 8:29 AMsubjectRe: Couch For Sale - $20 (Katy)

Yes, I am very serious. What can I do to help you?

I am now taking suggestions for a response

Indecent Proposal

Last weekend, in preparation for eventually turning our middle bedroom upstairs into a nursery, I posted several items on craigslist to sell. A tv, a tv stand, and a couch. Here is the ad for the couch:

Dark blue couch for sale. Fair condition, but clean. Not a sleeper sofa. Has a small area on one arm that was chewed by a puppy. The pillows are included if you want them. You MUST have two people to carry it to your vehicle, as it is upstairs in a guest room, and my wife is pregnant and cannot help.

For those of you who don't know how craigslist works, if someone replies to the ad, it sends an email to my email address using an anonymous address, so that my email address can't be seen, and they don't have any personal information visible in the ad. I received several offers, and already sold the tv stand and some old golf clubs, as well as gave away some really old golf clubs. No one has seemed real interested in that awesome couch though. It's been up for over a week with no takers. So I was very excited yesterday to see a response to the couch ad. I was not expecting this. The actual response I received:

robs_tx@yahoo.com wrote:

I was looking at different CL listings and I was lucky and found
herrs.

First, let me tell her a little about myself:I am an honest and
sincere man and know how to treat a lady well. Whenever I am with her,
she will have my full attention. I am genuine and will always treat
her with honor and respect. I am passionate about many things in life
and can be inspired by many things. I think that life is too short to not reach for those things her desire.I am very romantic and enjoy pampering my lovers with attention and with special care. I want to always make her feel special and beautiful. It makes me happiest when I am able to spoil her and make her feel like the most adored of all women.I am looking for a pregnant lover.

I adore pregnant ladies. There is nothing more beautiful
or lovely in the world a pregnant woman. I think pregnant women are so
adorable. I love to spoil them and make them feel very special and
beautiful.I love how radiant she becomes – her face glows in
motherhood. I love all the curves and the shape of her body as it
changes. I love the way her skin feels as it becomes more sensitive to
touch. I love how her hips have spread, and her belly has grown.I want
your wife to be my lover.I am sure you know as your wife grows more pregnant,her back becomes sore, her belly hurts, her feet and ankles swell. She will want you to be there to care for her at all times. She will want massages from you; she will want you to give her hot baths. She will want you to paint her
fingernails and toenails. Rub her back for her, rub her belly for her,
rub her feet for her. Any need or desire she has, you will have to comply.

You can't be expected to do all these things for her. Let me step in and do these things on your behalf. You go out with your friends, have a beer and enjoy the game. Let me satisfy all her needs that she has at this time. I will do it all for her.

Can I be your wife’s lover?

I have contemplated setting up a fake email account and responding. If I do, I'll let you know what he says.

It's a Girl. Or a Boy.

We dropped 40 bucks on an Intelligender test, which tests the urine and tells you what sex your baby is long before an ultrasound. Supposedly. We took the test, and it was clearly a boy, according to the handy color change chart. However, we took the test a little before we were supposed to, since we misread the directions. So we dropped 40 more bones on another one this week. This one says girl.

Best 2 out of three or save my 40 bucks for a voodoo Chinese horoscope calendar chart?

PregNANCY

I'm not going to bore you with the same old "Our fetus is now the size of a radish" stuff, because everyone does that. My goal is to try to have a little fun with this pregnancy thing and give you some perspective from the male point of view. After all, it is a very exciting time in our lives, we've never done this before, and I now have something to blog about.

Nancy has been surprisingly unaffected by pregnancy symptoms like nausea, etc so far. . .which I firmly believe means we are going to have a little hellion on our hands. Because things can't always be this easy. That, or Nancy will be on bedrest for the last 5 months. That would be fun.

She of course bought the bible of moms-to-be: What to Expect When You're Expecting. She did not, however, hide the book very well when our friends came over for New Years Eve. Devin recognized this book immediately under our couch. She did not ask any questions however. The same cannot be said for Tiff. Knowing that we both enjoy an adult beverage from time to time, and upon seeing the large bottle of sparkling grape juice in the fridge, loudly asks, "Who in the world is drinking sparkling grape juice? This is a time for champagne!!!" Since we had planned on telling them that night anyway, I answered her that Nancy was drinking it because she's knocked up. Excitement of course ensued, and the cat was out of the bag.

I read some of said book, and I am now, more than ever, glad to be male. I read the section entitled Labor and Delivery. Big mistake. Let's just say that pushing a gargantuan noggin out of a small orafice is just above having my toenails pulled out with needle nose pliers on my list of things I would enjoy experiencing in my life. So I really sympathize with all females who decide to do this to themselves. I will definitely not get mad at Nancy as she is cursing my name and yelling obsenities at me during the birthing process. I will just smile knowingly, having educated myself with a little light reading 7 months prior.

The upside for Nancy is that her OB/GYN said she had a "nice pelvis" which should make birthing easier. After what I read, every little thing helps.

Knocked Up

In case you could not figure out my very difficult riddle, Nancy is preggers. We found out December 5th, told our families over Christmas, and finally went to the doctor on Monday. The first ultrasound looked good, and we could already see a strong little heartbeat. She is about 9 weeks, due on 8/13/10. Until we find out the baby's gender, I am calling him Jorge' (HOR-HAY).

Nancy is not a fan.

Riddle