Indecent Proposal

Last weekend, in preparation for eventually turning our middle bedroom upstairs into a nursery, I posted several items on craigslist to sell. A tv, a tv stand, and a couch. Here is the ad for the couch:

Dark blue couch for sale. Fair condition, but clean. Not a sleeper sofa. Has a small area on one arm that was chewed by a puppy. The pillows are included if you want them. You MUST have two people to carry it to your vehicle, as it is upstairs in a guest room, and my wife is pregnant and cannot help.

For those of you who don't know how craigslist works, if someone replies to the ad, it sends an email to my email address using an anonymous address, so that my email address can't be seen, and they don't have any personal information visible in the ad. I received several offers, and already sold the tv stand and some old golf clubs, as well as gave away some really old golf clubs. No one has seemed real interested in that awesome couch though. It's been up for over a week with no takers. So I was very excited yesterday to see a response to the couch ad. I was not expecting this. The actual response I received:

robs_tx@yahoo.com wrote:

I was looking at different CL listings and I was lucky and found
herrs.

First, let me tell her a little about myself:I am an honest and
sincere man and know how to treat a lady well. Whenever I am with her,
she will have my full attention. I am genuine and will always treat
her with honor and respect. I am passionate about many things in life
and can be inspired by many things. I think that life is too short to not reach for those things her desire.I am very romantic and enjoy pampering my lovers with attention and with special care. I want to always make her feel special and beautiful. It makes me happiest when I am able to spoil her and make her feel like the most adored of all women.I am looking for a pregnant lover.

I adore pregnant ladies. There is nothing more beautiful
or lovely in the world a pregnant woman. I think pregnant women are so
adorable. I love to spoil them and make them feel very special and
beautiful.I love how radiant she becomes – her face glows in
motherhood. I love all the curves and the shape of her body as it
changes. I love the way her skin feels as it becomes more sensitive to
touch. I love how her hips have spread, and her belly has grown.I want
your wife to be my lover.I am sure you know as your wife grows more pregnant,her back becomes sore, her belly hurts, her feet and ankles swell. She will want you to be there to care for her at all times. She will want massages from you; she will want you to give her hot baths. She will want you to paint her
fingernails and toenails. Rub her back for her, rub her belly for her,
rub her feet for her. Any need or desire she has, you will have to comply.

You can't be expected to do all these things for her. Let me step in and do these things on your behalf. You go out with your friends, have a beer and enjoy the game. Let me satisfy all her needs that she has at this time. I will do it all for her.

Can I be your wife’s lover?

I have contemplated setting up a fake email account and responding. If I do, I'll let you know what he says.