CSI: Houston

Tuesday morning, I was awakended by a phone call from my receptionist who opens the clinic at 7 am.  I get those calls from time to time, and they are never good news.  Never.  This time was no exception.  Some fine upstanding citizan had decided to break my front window with a rock, shimmy his ignorant ass through the tiny, jagged hole, and help himself to some things that were not his.  This is the scene my receptionist walked up on when I got the call:

The genius crawled through that hole, slicing his flesh in the process, instead of just kicking the rest of the window out.  He then proceeded to put my laptop, digital camera and $200 in cash in his backpack and head on back to the crackhouse to get a fresh supply.  Did my alarm go off?  Nope.  The damn motion detector went off a few months ago when a cat got loose in the clinic, but a grown man waltzes in and trashes my front desk without so much as a peep from the excellent security system I pay $300 a month for.  Of course, my "night vision" camera also malfunctioned, leaving me with a black screen, a little light through one of the windows, and 3 minutes of the light from a flashlight going through all my stuff.  Very helpful.  My outdoor camera was only slightly more helpful, revealing enough to narrow the list of perps down to everyone within a 5 mile radius of the clinic.  He was a black male with white tennis shoes and a backpack.  Be on the lookout.

The Houston Police Department is hot on the case, though.  Fingerprints?  There aren't any, according to the ever-so-thorough representative from the Houston Police Department.  He was good.  He could tell that just by glancing at the broken window from across the room.  The blood all over the glass from when the jackass cut himself shimmying through the broken window?  It's too bad they don't have a way to match blood to individuals.  That would have been useful.  I understand that they aren't going to form a posse and shut down the city to hunt down some small-time crackhead who made off with $1700 worth of stuff.  I get it.  But he could have at least acted like he gave a shit.  That might at least deter a few of these low-lifes if they thought they might get caught.  Columbo this guy was not.

Anyway, it could have been much worse, and for that I am thankful.  They didn't harm any of the animals, they didn't find the drugs, and no one (besides the crackhead asshole) was hurt.  Considering the alarm didn't go off, he could have cleaned me out.  Hopefully, my strongly worded phone call to ADT, and the technician who showed up shortly thereafter, have solved my security holes.

A couple of weekends back, the three of us, Nancy's parents, and her brother and his family all rented a condo in Port Aransas.  We had a blast, and it was great to get away for a little while.  Jacob had fun at the beach and in the pool, and Brooke and Tyler had a lot of fun, too.  The only downside was the funk that I brought everyone.  I call it the gift that keeps on giving.  See, JKW had a little upset stomach earlier in the week, but it didn't seem too bad.  Then the morning we left for Port A, I thought I was going to die.  Literally.  I was weak, and feverish and nauseous, and achy.  The ride down was miserable for me, but also for Nancy because all I did was complain and was absolutely no help with Jacob or navigating the Charlie Foxtrot that is the Port A Highway system.  I went straight to bed upon arrival and pretty much didn't move for the next 18 hours.  I felt better by the next day.  Then that night, Nancy and her mom were miserably sick, barfing profusely and, I'm sure, cursing my name.  Then Nancy's Dad joined in the fun the night after we left.  A fun time was had by all.  Sorry about that.  I blame Jacob, since he can't defend himself.

Here are a few pics, strategically shot between barfing episodes:

Unofficial retirement partAY

Brookie with her Grandma

On the beach in Port A

Jacob and his Grandparents

J-Dub driving the golf cart

He doesn't look guilty at all

Hanging with grandpa

His first brewsky (not really)

First order of business: eat sand

Tyler flying his kite

The studly men with Brooke

This past weekend we took Jacob to the neighborhood pool and splash pad, which he, of course, loved.  The kid loves water.  Loves.

The pimpin' bulldozer float

duuuuuude

he tried to eat the water (surprise)

Seriously, this float is sweet

Molly Elizabeth Bigham

EDIT:  Nancy thinks that you are going to think we had another kid.  This is Molly Elizabeth Bigham, born yesterday morning to my sister Laura and her husband Scott.

Welcome to our crazy family, Molly.

10 Months Old

Time flies when you're having fun, and the last ten months have certainly flown by.  I put together a cheesy little montage of Jacob's "official" month-by-month pictures.

http://i139.photobucket.com/albums/q302/randyag98/10MonthsGIF.gif?t=1306814002

This past weekend, I took Saturday off and we went and stayed at the Hyatt Lost Pines near Austin.  It is a hotel/resort type thing with lots of kid-friendly activities.  It was very relaxing and Jacob had a lot of fun...which is why we chose this particular place.  He got to ride the train, see the farm animals and play in the water.  J-Dub loves him some water.  He has been taking swimming lessons weekly for a couple of months now, so he is a pro.  We spent most of our time floating down the "lazy river" they have there.

The lazy river feeds into the swimming pool, which has a basketball goal and a volleyball net.  As we floated by the volleyball net, Jacob would watch the ball in amazement.  He was straining in every direction trying to keep his eye on the ball as they hit it back and forth.  On one particular pass by the volleyball net, as he was watching them hit the ball back and forth, Nancy and I started joking that maybe they would let him play.  We were imitating what he might say to them as he asked to join in, and Nancy (imitating Jacob) loudly exclaimed what he might bring to the volleyball game, talent-wise.  "I like to chew on balls," she loudly exclaimed, so that everyone in the immediate area could hear.  Everyone floating down the lazy river within 20 feet of us heard her and was dying laughing.  She was so embarrassed, but I couldn't stop laughing long enough to explain.

Jacob has become quite the flirt when we go out in public.  He smiles at all the people seated near us, and the waitresses as well.  They all end up coming over and trying to squeeze his chubby cheeks by the end of the meal.  He has yet to get us a free dessert, but we're working on it.

Last weekend, we went to Lorena for Logan's 8th birthday party.  It is hard to believe that he is eight years old already.  Nancy and I met shortly after he was born.  He had a fun party, complete with water balloon fights, a cool baseball cake and lots of great gifts.  He got a Nintendo DS and a BB gun among other things.  I think he had a good time, as did we.

Next weekend, I'm taking a little more time off and we are going to spend a couple of days in Port Aransas with Nancy's parents and her brother's family.  I'm sure there will be lots to blog about after that trip, so stay tuned.  I'll let you know if Nancy reveals any more sick, twisted sexual fetishes to complete strangers.

Now a few pictures.

About to ride the kiddie train at Lost Pines

Jacob flirting with someone on the train instead of looking at the camera

Here they come

The Official Ten Month Pic

Swimming with his mama

He loves his float

Checking out the Colorado River

Ready for some fun in the sun

He loved the soft blankets on the bed

Jacob with his cousins Logan and Brynna

He locked his mom outside

Our bathroom constantly looks like this

All those toys, and he prefers measuring cups and belts

Crabby but Cute

Happy Birthday Logan

Packing for our trip

Trying to climb in the bathtub

Protecting that Huge Noggin Ain't Easy

J-Dub is a thrill-seeker.  He loves to be hung upside down, twirled around, go really high in his swing, pop wheelies in his stroller...basically anything "scary".  So, with that in mind, at some point we decided that he would like riding in a seat on one of our bikes.  So, we purchased a seat at Academy, ordered a helmet online, and put this plan in motion.  This weekend, we finally got around to installing the seat on the bike.  I aired up the bike tires (which makes it obvious how often we ride them) and we were ready to go, right?  Wrong.  There was the little detail of the helmet.

There was no problem with the helmet itself.  Despite his gargantuan noggin, the helmet fits just fine.  The problem is that, in order for the helmet to serve its intended purpose, it must be secured to Jacob's head.  This is where the plan went off track.  You would have thought that the helmet was made of pure battery acid, and that even the slightest contact with his head would set forth some sort of pain that he might never recover from.  And the chin strap?  Fugettaboutit.  This too must have been burning him horribly.  At that point, we were pretty certain that this bike ride wasn't happening.  We wrestled with him for ten minutes trying to get him to leave the helmet on.  Nothing was working.  Until...he discovered that the chin strap could be put in his mouth.  That was the turning point.  If he's got something in his mouth, he's happy.  Never mind that I'm pretty sure that the helmet does him absolutely no good for protecting his head when the part that secures it to him is in his mouth...that's not the point.  It got him to leave the helmet alone long enough for us to start riding, which he thoroughly enjoyed.  And, at least from a distance, it appeared that we were protecting our child from head injury, which would keep any nosy neighbors from calling Child Protective Services.

Last night, we decided that Jacob should have his first ice cream cone.  Since Nancy planned on giving him a bath soon, it was the perfect time to turn him loose with one.  Here is the result:

A few more pictures:

That helmet looks secure, right?

Getaway

Last weekend, Nancy's parents were kind enough to take care of Jacob for a couple of days so that we could go to the lake with some friends.  It was great to get away, even if just for a few days, since we haven't really been anywhere since Costa Rica almost two years ago.

Jacob had so much fun at his Grandma and Grandpas that he didn't even miss us.  I wasn't so sure that Nancy would be able to do it though.  This was the first time she has left him anywhere overnight...but she handled it well.

We kind of cheated on our diet for the first time in 3 months, so I am kind of dreading having to face the diet-nazis at Quick Weight Loss Center.  Nancy went today and somehow had lost weight...so she didn't even get in trouble.  As of today, she has lost 45 pounds and I am down 60...so we deserved some junk food!  I am not going to fare so well on the scale whenever I go, I'm afraid.

As the weather gets warmer, vet clinics get busier...but it has been crazier than usual at the clinic here lately (not that I'm complaining).  So that is my excuse for not blogging more.  I have plenty of topics, as long as you don't mind endless cute baby stories and pictures.  Unfortunately not much else exciting.

Everything went well with my Mom's surgery and she is slowly getting back in the swing of things at home.  She is tougher than I would ever be.  But after having to put up with Laura and Carrie for 18 years each, I can understand why.  My Dad is hanging in there as well.  He says my Mom is not, um, an "ideal" patient or something like that.  I can't imagine whatever does he mean?

That's about it for now.  On to the aforementioned cute baby pictures and some of our mini-vacation:

Riding the golf cart with G-pa

He loves belts

...and drawers

...and eating

...and laughing

The "Official" 9 month photo

Rockin the plaid

Something is funny

He loves to stand up now, especially in dangerous circumstances

Smiley

One of Grandma's pics made the cut... Nancy said she would be excited.

Finally, a tooth!

Plaid again

Look at that belly

Nancy trying to get up the nerve to jump off the balcony

She decided it was a good idea

Perfect form

Riding the Sea Doo...fun until Nancy flipped us

Me and Wifey

Me, Scott, and Jeff

Da-Da wins (Sort Of)

He stands up and speaks!  Kind of.  And some other random video.

We're in Trouble Now