Just a flesh wound

Never a dull moment at Lakeside Animal Clinic.

Today, a man came in, without a dog or cat, and walked up to the front desk. Our receptionist could smell the liquor on his breath as soon as he stumbled through the door. He teetered precariously with each step as he walked toward us. Now this guy is about 6'6" and about 300 lbs, so if he falls over, he's doing some damage to someone or some thing. But luckily he kept his feet long enough to grab ahold of the reception desk.

Then, he started telling his story. It went something like this:

He was walking his dog (a boxer) in his apartment complex about 30 minutes ago, when a large pit bull, not on a leash, approached them from the front. His boxer barked at the pit bull, which set him off. The pit bull bounded at the man, showed his teeth, and chomped down...ON HIS CROTCH. The guy freaked out, kicked the dog multiple times and it ran off. The man and his boxer managed to escape with no further confrontation. Fast forward 30 minutes to the lobby of the clinic.

The guy has a large blood stain on the left side of his crotchal region, and would likely have been in much more pain if he wasn't three sheets to the wind. He just stood there, cheerfully relaying the earlier events as if he wasn't bleeding profusely from his nether regions. After telling his story, however, he then thought it appropriate to show us his wound. He literally followed several employees around for ten minutes trying to get them to look at his injury, which I hear involved a missing hunk of groin flesh and a bloody testicle. I say "I hear" because I ran to my office and shut the door when he started playing show-and-tell. But a couple of girls got the whole show.

Why he was even at the clinic was my big question. He did not have a pet with him. We all originally assumed that the reason for his visit was that his dog had also suffered some sort of grotesque injury and he wanted advice...but was too cheap to bring him in to get checked out. Yet, he never even brought up his dog again. As far as I could tell, his sole reason for coming in was to tell us the story and show us his oozing crotch wound. After he had flashed everyone, he happily went on his merry way...hopefully to a human doctor. We like to form a bond with our clients and all, but this might have been a little too much.