It's Been a While

Sorry (to the two people who read this blog) about the almost month in between posts. It's been a really busy month at the clinic, which is a good thing. But it has been busier than it normally would have been because I had two staff members leave at the same time. One has a degree from A&M and was trying to get a teaching job...so it was no huge surprise when she left. The other one caught me a little off guard. But she is going back to school, and I can never be upset about someone trying to better themselves and not just live off the government (or my measly 10 bucks an hour). That left me with two experienced employees. So I had to quickly find a few decent applicants to interview for the two jobs that had opened up.

The process works something like this: I put out an ad in a local classified paper and on Craigslist, and the listing specifically says to apply in person, and in bold says "No phone calls or emails will be answered regarding this position". So of course, every day we have to delete tons of emails from our inbox and answer a ton of phone calls asking about the position. It is my personal rule that we get the name of anyone who calls or emails...and if they do come in to apply, the application immediately goes to the shredder. My goal is to hire people with AT THE LEAST basic reading comprehension skills and the ability to follow directions. Is that too much to ask? Sometimes I think it might be.

Anyway, when the applicant comes in, my receptionist pre-screens them for me to weed out all the riff-raff and ne'r-do-wells. And 95% of the applicants would fit easily into one of those categories. She then brings me the applications of the friendly, clean, polite, intelligent-sounding individuals for me to interview. Someone who is all 4 of those things is like gold, especially if they don't want twenty bucks an hour or a company car. Those that don't quite fit the bill are at least sometimes mildly entertaining.

There was Angie "Bambi" Rhodes (actually how she filled out her name on the application). She came in wearing more makeup than Krusty The Clown and wearing, I kid you not, a feather boa. Her last place of employment was Treasures, a local gentlemen's establishment. This was at my prior clinic a few years ago, and German, a young male technician from Argentina, tried very hard to get her hired. I figured as much as she might attract a whole new sector of the male, pet-owning public to our clinic, it was best if she pursued other options.

There was also a young man that came in and filled out an application for a kennel position. He had evidently been involved in the dog training business as an assistant at a local kennel, which gave him some valuable experience. If only he hadn't listed his former position as "Ass Trainer" on the application. I am pretty sure he meant Assistant Trainer, but I can't take that chance.

There was a young lady that seemed nice enough to our receptionist, so I called her back for an interview. When I called, she was evidently in the middle of a fight with her husband/boyfriend/baby-daddy, who I could hear yelling in the background the whole time. At one point, she said, "Excuse me for a second" and tried to put her hand over the phone so i wouldn't hear her yell, "Shut the F--- up, I'm on the phone with the clinic where I am trying to get a f----ng job!". Then, nice as can be she continued our conversation. I had called her to set
up an interview, but after that I told her I was calling to let her know the position had been filled.

Finally, there was Molly, who came in just last week. She walked in with her resume in hand, walked up to the front desk and set the piece of paper on the counter. She then turned around and walked out the door. Never said a word, never smiled, never used sign language or even pantomime...just walked in, set her resume down, and left. She was not advanced to the next round by our pre-screening receptionist.

I finally found two reasonably intelligent, presentable, non-strippers and hired them. Now the fun part of getting them trained to the point that they don't make us all look like complete incompetents.

I must admit that the reason I am breaking down and blogging tonight is that I am spending the night at the clinic watching over Rowdy, who has a raging case of Pancreatitis. I'm glad I have a shower and a couch up here. Otherwise I would be grumpier and stinkier than normal tomorrow, and probably have to go through the hiring process again after everyone quit.