Poker Table and a visit from the Fam

I am not the most handy guy in the world...so my plans to build a poker table were met with more than a few chuckles from my lovely and supportive wife. Undeterred, I went forward with the planning and construction. In reality, it really wasn't that hard. The hardest part was convincing Nancy to park her car in the driveway while I commandeered the garage.

Anyway, check it out. I think it turned out pretty good. It is actually just a table topper (no legs) designed to fit on top of our dining room table.

Close up of the cool poker felt I ordered online.

Mom, Dad, Carrie, Logan, and Brynna came down to visit this weekend. We had a great time as always. We all had fun playing with all our new gameroom games. Logan even invented a game that was very complicated and involved the use of the ping pong net, two mini football goalposts, an air hockey puck, bowling pins, a rubber chicken, and a mini Abominable Snowman. He has quite the imagination.

Logan has also become quite imaginative when trying to get himself out of trouble. He was trying to "help" Pa win an air hockey game by throwing a bowling pin at the goal, scratching the table and nearly shattering our tv. But when his mom yelled at him, he insisted it was not his fault..."because if Randy wouldn't have bought the game table, it wouldn't have happened." I guess, technically, he does have a point.

Nancy also caught him using a lint-roller on the inside of our bathtub. He got mad when she walked in, because "it was supposed to be a surprise". I have no idea, so don't ask me.

Brynna is cute as always. She just LOVES her Aunt Nancy. Unless she hasn't had her nap, of course. Brynna, not Nancy.

We also took the kids to play at the neighborhood playground. They had a fun time. Brynna loved the slide and the swing...and Logan loved feeding the troll that lives in the storm sewer. Again, don't ask me.

I just realized that my Dad had quit smoking recently. We are really proud of him. He needs to be around after we have kids and need to drop them off for some babysitting for a month or three.

All in all it was a fun weekend. And the good thing about nieces and nephews is: once you're done playing with them, you just send them home with mom, M, and Pa. The house is strangely much more quiet tonight.

AAARRGGHH!!!!

Well, I finally, after all this suffering, found an applicant worth a damn. Interview- awesome. Extended interview- awesome. Called her references today...all of them go on and on about how good of a worker she is, how reliable, etc. Finally! I said.

I called her to give her the good news. She had just been in for the working interview on Saturday. When I told her she got the job, she started crying. Tears of joy, I thought. How cute.

Nope, she is crying because she is literally, as we speak, moving back to Louisiana.

At least the manager of the Cinnamonster in the mall in Lafayette, LA might get his wish. He told me that he wished she still worked for him.

Back to the drawing board.

Another Interesting Applicant

This round of employee hiring is the most interesting one yet, as you can imagine based on the previous two blogs.

A little more background on how the hiring process goes down:

The girls up front pre-screen all the applicants, and the select few that know how to fill out an application, can spell their own name, and don't smell or look like a barnyard animal get called back for a brief interview. During that initial interview, I explain in detail what their job will entail... salary, hours, duties, benefits, etc.

Those that I interview that seem like they might be a good candidate for the job get called back for a working interview, where they come in and spend an hour or so with us, meet everyone, and see how things operate. More than a few back out at this point, once we put them to work during the working interview, and they realize they are not up to cleaning up dog feces on their hands and knees. Those that appear reliable, hard-working, motivated and friendly get a background check, a few calls to their references, and then they are hired.

Well, last week we had Pete in for a working interview. He had made it through the vigorous pre-screening process and seemed like a good guy during our initial interview. I had explained the position to him, and he mentioned that he was considering going to vet school some day. he said he loved animals, grew up with tons of dogs, cats, horses, etc and was really excited about this opportunity. He was friendly enough, and seemed unlikely to be a gang member, drug user, or thief...so he made the cut.

When he arrived, I immediately put him with Jennifer, our current kennel assistant. I told her to put him to work. Well, she tried to do just that...but he would not get within 5 feet of any of the dogs. He was obviously deathly afraid of every dog in the kennel, from the 5 lb Yorkie to the 50 lb pit bull. He would not even go near the cage until Jennifer had already walked the dog outside. Then he was eager to jump in and clean. She asked Pete if he was afraid of dogs. He went on to explain to her how his mother had been killed by a pack of stray dogs, right in front of him, when he was a child. That, he said, was why he was "a little apprehensive" about dogs he didn't know.

If that story is true, I can't say I blame him. But why on God's Green Earth would you apply for a job in a vet clinic, where your entire job description involves handling dogs, when you are deathly afraid of dogs?

After an hour or so, I told him he was free to go, and asked him what he thought. He went on and on about how excited he was about the job and how it seemed like the perfect job for him. He would be anxiously awaiting my call, he said.

After he left, I asked Jennifer how he did, and she recounted everything to me. He had not gotten near one dog, let alone taken any of them outside. But on the upside, he was a hell of a cage cleaner. Of course he never mentioned his mother's gruesome death or his "apprehensiveness" to me. I guess he thought I would never find out that he had a severe case of dog-phobia.

That is why I do working interviews before I hire anyone. So, I still haven't found anyone worthy of this esteemed position. I will keep you updated. I can't wait to see what insane job-seekers tomorrow brings.

Will she ever get a job?

A few gems from one young lady's application for the kennel position. This poor girl may not ever get hired anywhere. This is all from one application. Exactly as she wrote it.

Have you ever been convicted of a felony? ____Yes _X_No
If Yes, Explain: *Tampering but not convicted*

Previous employment (Job #1, 3/08 to 5/08): Reason for Leaving: Hated the owner

Previous emplyment (Job #3, 1/06 to 3/06) Reason for leaving: Quit/ Terminated

...She did not get an interview

The Common Sense Test

Today I decided that I would put an ad out on Craigslist for a kennel assistant at the clinic. It's a part-time job that only pays $8.00 an hour, but whomever I hire needs to be reliable, trustworthy, and learn quickly. It's not rocket science, but they have to learn how to give medications, take dogs outside, feed them, clean up after them, restrain them, and do some simple computer stuff. It's a good job for a high school kid or a college student.

However, good help is hard to find. Of all the applicants we get when I put out an ad, about 1% of the applications even make it to my desk. I have the receptionist pre-screen out the sure "Nos" so I don't have to waste my time interviewing everyone. They have gotten pretty good at identifying the riff-raff and ne'er-do-wells.

I put the ad online about noon, and by 2 pm there were people coming in to fill out applications. One young man, who was roughly 18 or so, came in the front door and walked up to the front desk. Michelle was sitting at the front desk, and asked if she could help him. He said that he had seen the ad and was here to apply for the job. Michelle reached into the drawer and grabbed an application, gave it to him, and asked him to fill it out. He took the paper, sat down, and worked on it for about ten minutes. When he was done, he walked back up to the front desk, handed it Michelle, said "Thanks" and walked out the door. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Only when Michelle looked at his application, she realized she had given him the wrong piece of paper from the drawer. She had accidentally grabbed a "New Pet Check-in Form" and handed that to him instead of the "Application for Employment". I heard all the girls laughing hysterically, so I went up front to see what all the commotion was about. The young man had filled out the entire form, which included his pet's name, species, sex, age, color, breed, known allergies, previous vaccinations and current medications. Nowhere on this form does it even ask for his name...let alone his address, phone number, work history, references, education, or any other pertinent information commonly found on a job application. Nonetheless, he diligently filled it out, handed it back, and went on his merry way. I guess the thought never entered his head that she might have given him the wrong form.

We have decided that this is our new "common sense test", and that we will now hand all potential applicants a random form to fill out in lieu of the application. Those that are smart enough to realize they are not filling out a job application are automatically hired. Like I said, good help is hard to find.

On a side note, I am keeping Chuey, the 2 year old tan Chihuahua's application on file...just in case I can't find anyone better.

Christmas, Part Deux

On Saturday, Nancy and I went to Brandl and Danielle's house for the Groom half of our Christmas. Brooke and Tyler are getting so big. Despite the fact that they live in the same metropolitan area as we do, the hour and a half drive makes it hard to see them very often. So every time we do, it seems like they have grown up so much. Tyler is coming around and actually will let us hold him and play with him now. Brooke is little miss independent, and still doesn't know quite what to think of all the crazy people visiting her.

The Groom Christmas is a little different than the Wiltshire Christmas. It is much less chaotic, much more organized, and there is a much greater per capita beer consumption. We took turns opening presents, and everyone actually got to see what everyone else got. That would last about 30 seconds in the Wiltshire house. Danielle cooked up some awesome ribs and shrimp, and the twins racked up a pretty good haul of presents. Brooke and Tyler are not obsessed with any one thing (like Logan and Star Wars) so it is harder to buy for them. The one thing we know for sure is that their favorite toy is whichever one the other is playing with at the time. We scored a pretty decent haul ourselves, and again left with a car load of presents.

All in all it was a fun time. Here are a few pictures:




Nancy and I have finally finished setting up our game room. We have all this room upstairs, but nothing to really do with all that space...so we decided to make it into a real game room. Well, we had at least talked about it. I kinda made it happen when I went to Academy for some jeans and came back with a huge pool/air hockey/ping pong table and a foosball table. I can't say Nancy was really ecstatic when I showed her what I had bought. And she was even less ecstatic when she had to help me haul it upstairs. But she warmed up to the idea eventually, and now she likes it more than I do. It all started when we went furniture shopping before we moved in, and we bought a craps/ blackjack/ roulette table to go along with our house full of furniture. Then we got a dartboard after we moved in. Now with these two huge tables, we have pretty much filled up the entire upstairs. It's like a freakin' carnival/casino up there. Now we just need some nieces and nephews to come play with us every once in a while. Nancy's mom and dad helped us break it in by whipping our butts in ping pong. We also played a little air hockey and foosball. The big table is actually kind of cool. It has a pool table on one side. You release four little supports and spin it around 180 degrees and there's an air hockey table on the other side, with a ping pong table that sits on top of it. Here are a few pictures of the game room:

Blackjack

Foosball

Craps

Roulette

Pool

Air Hockey

Ping Pong

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. We had a great time spending time with everyone. We are truly very lucky to have two such great families. Have a Happy New Year!

Breast Christmas Ever

The blog title cannot be explained. In fact, the entire Wiltshire Family Christmas is always an event that cannot be explained. At least not well enough to do it justice. You really have to be there.

It is always a lot of fun, a lot of chaos, and the occasional odd stocking stuffer. It gets just a little more chaotic with every addition to our ever-growing family. This was Makinley's first Christmas...and she survived. Scott has been a part of this annual event for so long now, that rarely does anything surprise or phase him. Nancy is still fairly new at this, however, and she still occasionally gets that "What in the hell have I married into?" look on her face. Living with me every day for the past two years has helped prepare her, at least a little bit, for the insanity.

Christmas Eve always involves going to the Candlelight Service at church. After that, it's off to Carrie's house for games. This part of the night got off to a rough start when Logan got home after church and immediately went to the play room, where his 16-in-1 game table from Santa was hidden. Only problem was that Santa was still on his way from the North Pole. Carrie really has to get better at hiding gifts. The middle of the play room is maybe not the best hiding place. We'll work on that for next year. Luckily Santa had a backup gift and Logan was none the wiser.

We got Carrie a Kwanzaa gift, since Laura would be mad if got her a Christmas gift, since Carrie was not either of our assigned Christmas gift recipients. The main reason for the gift was so we would have a new game to play on Christmas Eve. I think we succeeded in sneaking it by Laura. At least until she reads this blog. As we were wrapping up another exciting round of Wiltshire Family Trivial Pursuit, Nancy began having some weird stomach pains, so we had to call it a night. Her pregnancy really causes some strange aches and pains from time to time. Christmas Eve 2008 was in the books.

We awoke bright and early on Christmas morning to assemble a few toys and eat breakfast. Oh, and I was just kidding about the pregnancy thing. It is a running joke in our family. They expect a big "announcement" every time we visit. They even keep tabs on whether Nancy is drinking beer or not, in the hopes of getting a clue as to when the announcement might be.

Once Laura, Scott, and Makinley arrived, it was time for opening presents. This event is only slightly less chaotic than yelling "Fire!" in a crowded theater. Take three small children, all the toys from aisles 1 through 17 at Toys R Us, and 3 metric tons of wrapping paper, and there you have it. Mass hysteria. We used to calmly open our gifts one at a time, taking turns along the way. Not any more. Now it's everyone for themselves. No more posing for pictures with each gift, no more thank yous to the gift giver, no more telling everyone what you got. Luckily, Dad set up the camcorder on the tripod to capture every moment on tape, just as he has done every year since camcorders came out. We have yet to ever actually watch one of these tapes, but the point is, we could if we wanted to.

It seems every year there is one stocking stuffer that defies logic and common sense. Logan was the lucky recipient this year. He got a nutcracker. Now this is not the little soldier boy nutcracker, mind you. No, this is a solid steel nut-crushing device complete with sharp metal pick. Just what every 6 year old high on sugar needs. The ironic thing is that he received this gift on the only Christmas in memory that our stockings were not at least partially filled with whole, unshelled pecans and almonds. We got no gouda cheese this year either. Usually a round, red, wax-covered wheel of gouda cheese is as predictable in our stocking as the quiche is for Christmas breakfast. Not this year. I'm very sad about this.

As usual, the kids cleaned up. Logan got every type of transportation device possible, including a bike, a skateboard, and a scooter. Of course, he was much more enamored with his Star Wars toys. Makinley got multiple loud, noise making toys. Nancy and I always make it a point to give the kids the loudest, most obnoxious toys we can find. This year, we got Makinley an entire Bee Bop Band worth of noisy musical instruments, and we got Brynna the singing, dancing, joke-telling Elmo Live.

We scored a pretty good haul ourselves. Enough to fill up the entire back of Nancy's Santa Fe. The only gift I got that I didn't like was the box of Kleenex Laura and Scott gave me, with a note so cleverly included that reads, "Thought you might need these after this season of Aggie Football." Funny. Very funny. Oddly enough, the box wasn't opened. I figured at least a few of them would have been used over the past two years when their team got beat by our sad little team. But it makes sense. Between those two butt-whoopings and all their crying about OU going to the Big XII championship instead of them, I bet they used a whole box...so they had to buy us a new one.

All in all, it was a great Christmas, as they always are at our house. It was fun watching Logan and Brynna make our living room look like a small tornado had gone through. And watching Makinley take in all the sights and sounds and craziness of her first Christmas.

Now it's on to Part 2 on Saturday. There are two more little tornadoes just waiting to make a similar mess of Brandl and Danielle's living room. And Nancy and I, with our loud, obnoxious gifts in hand, wouldn't miss it.